


The Mutual Benefit of All Parties

by EmperorNorton150



Series: Catra's Coup [3]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Diplomacy, Not Canon Compliant, Politics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:55:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25006522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmperorNorton150/pseuds/EmperorNorton150
Summary: In order to defend Etheria from Horde Prime, the Horde and the Princess Alliance are going to have to unify the planet, even if that means negotiating with the most, treacherous, narcissistic, annoying people in the world. But enough about Catra.
Relationships: Catra & Glimmer (She-Ra)
Series: Catra's Coup [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1805098
Comments: 11
Kudos: 65





	The Mutual Benefit of All Parties

King Darkspur VII spread his hands wide as he leaned back in his chair, rings gleaming on his fingers. He wore an expression of quiet sadness, even his mustache seeming to droop with regret that he could not entirely bring himself to agree with his counterpart’s opinion. The air in the conference chamber was muggy and still, condensation gleaming on the glass cabinets of curios and bejeweled artifacts that lined the walls. Glimmer was hot, tired, and deeply wishing she could smash something into tiny little pieces.

“….of course, it is a positive _pleasure_ to host someone your stature here at my humble palace, Your Highness, and I will _always_ treasure the friendship of Bright Moon and your lovely mother…..but I fail to see what this proposed, ah” he coughed delicately, “well, let us be polite, shall we? This proposed _alliance_ , yes, offers my Kingdom”. Glimmer fixed a smile on her face and tried again.

“Your Majesty, I believe I have explained that. The Kingdom of the Hinterlands joining the our new coalition would be to the mutual benefit of all parties. We would gain a valuable and respected sovereign as our ally, you would gain access to new trade routes, economic aid, technological transfers, the diplomatic offices of the Inter-Etherian Committee for General Arbitration…...you could be part of the future of Etheria!”

“Protection. Don’t forget protection. He’ll get that too.” Catra interjected from the other side of the conference table. She was perched on the edge of her chair, inspecting her claws idlily. Glimmer’s jaw clenched. Diplomacy was bad enough under normal circumstances but with _her_ along—! King Darkspur VII turned his attention to the Generalissimo of the Horde, his eyes widening in feigned shock.

“Is that a _threat_ Your Excellency?”

“Of course not. I would _never_ threaten such a noble neighbor. I merely……point out possibilities. Etheria is a very dangerous planet, and with the Horde Wars finally over, both myself and my former enemies now have the luxury of looking to the rest of the world. We hope to find friends. We would _hate_ to find enemies.”

“I see, I see. Tell me Your Highness, is it the policy of the Princess Alliance to threaten unaligned nations with invasion now?”

“Absolutely not!” snapped Glimmer, trying to think on her feet, and shooting a glare across the table at the unabashed Catra. “But…...it is true that joining our alliance would allay the concerns of some of our more……paranoid members. Who might otherwise see you as a threat.”

“Her Highness is being polite. That’s her job. It’s not mine. Neither the Horde nor the Princess Alliance will permit our borders to be threatened by rogue nations”.

“We will _permit_ you to do whatever you want! The Princess Alliance will not allow independent kingdoms to be browbeaten!” To Glimmer’s surprise, Catra’s ears flipped down, and she said mildly

“Of course, Your Highness”. Glimmer sighed silently, turning back to King Darkspur VII, who had been watching their exchange with eyebrows raised. It was her own fault she was here, thousands of leagues from home, alone with strangers and the person she trusted least in the world, but that didn’t make it any better. Glimmer had balked at the idea of letting Catra go on a diplomatic mission to the most powerful unaligned kingdom west of the Crimson Wastes without _any_ supervision. (“Are we _trying_ to let the Horde gobble up a few more countries?!”). But Bow was busy training the new Territorial Volunteer army in archery and studying up on a few hundred years of Etherian international law. Adora was off doing “She-Ra stuff” with Swift Wind, and honestly, Glimmer didn’t trust her to keep an unbiased eye on Catra anymore. She kept _giggling_ about her when she thought no one was looking. It was freaky. Mermista and Frosta had ongoing disputes with Catra before the Committee, and weren’t on speaking terms with her, Perfuma was…...not a great diplomat……and Netossa had started getting along too well with Catra for Glimmer’s comfort either. (“A shared love of punching things and wargaming”, as Bow had put it). Which left…..her. Wheeeee.

“Your Majesty, our governments are in _no way_ attempting to coerce you. My counterpart was merely attempting to warn you that isolation would leave your kingdom vulnerable to a variety of threats. Aligning with our nations would allow us to provide you with extensive benefits as well as protection from any who might harm you.” _Including the Horde_ , she added silently. “We all must stand together against the threat of Horde Prime.” 

“Ah, yes, of course—Horde Prime. Your Highness, you must excuse a certain amount of skepticism on my part in regards to this. You are telling me that there is a very scary man beyond the sky who is going to come and destroy us all—unless we voluntarily submit to your rule. It is _so_ very convenient”.

“Nobody. Is. Asking. You. To. Submit. To. _Anything_ ” replied Glimmer, holding onto her temper with both hands. “We are asking you to sign a treaty of mutual defense and free trade, and to lodge any disputes with an arbitration committee!”

“Mutual defense against _what_ Your Highness? A hypothetical? A phantasm? A figment of your imagination—"

“Think of it this way Your Majesty” Catra broke in again. “If there was not some greater threat, do you really think that she and I would be sitting here at peace with one another?” she smirked at the Princess of Bright Moon. “I assure you, I’m not any happier about it than she is.” Glimmer flushed, but King Darkspur VII laughed.

“A point, a point indeed Your Excellency. Well, let us at least discus the details of your proposal. You’re offering trade free of tariffs or fees? Will that be mutual, without exception?”

* * *

It was several hours later that a majordomo bowed the exhausted negotiators into the parlor where they were to wait until dinner, having turned down the king’s offer of an entertainment. As soon as the door had closed behind them, Glimmer whirled on Catra, eyes blazing, but the Horde leader got there first.

“Nice work in there Princess. ‘Bad Cop/Worse Cop’, works every time, right?” she flopped down onto a couch, stretching. Glimmer froze, mouth open to start shouting.

“ _You_ —what?” Catra raised an eyebrow.

“’Bad Cop/Worse Cop’? You know, classic interrogation technique. Like when they think you’ve stolen a ration bar so one internal security officer threatens to send you to Beast Island so when the other offers you only a few months in a prison cell you confess. Works for negotiations too.” 

“Is _that_ what you were doing in there?”

“What, you thought I was being a jerk just for fun? Don’t flatter yourself sparkles. If he’s thinking the Horde might roll over his silly little kingdom any day now he’s gonna be a lot more willing to cut a deal with a friendly little princess like you.”

“You could have _told_ me! Do you know how close I came to blasting you?!”

“This way was more amusing”. Glimmer snorted and flounced across the chamber to an armchair, which she collapsed into with another glower at her ostensible partner. Catra continued after a moment. “Honestly, I just assumed you knew. I mean, why else would you have been so nice to him?”

“We want him as an ally, _remember_?”

“It’s diplomacy, not a tea party Princess. He doesn’t have to love you as long as he thinks it’s in his best interest to follow you.” Glimmer took a deep breath and counted to ten. _I don’t have to love her; I just have to not strangle her_ she reminded herself. Good advice, no matter the source.

“Do you think he’ll bite?” she finally asked. Catra waggled one hand side to side.

“Maybe. I’ve dealt with Darkspur before; he’s stupid and arrogant but makes up for it by being greedy. He thinks because he controls a few caravan routes through the hills he’s a force to be reckoned with, and he hates the idea of accepting he’s not the only person in the world. He’d rather squat out here on the edge of civilization and feud with his barons and the other petty-ante kingdoms than risk bruising his ego. But he has enough brainpower to know how little he really has. Keep dangling those tech transfers and promises of financial aid and he might sign up. Of course, then we’ll have to _deal_ with him regularly.”

“It can’t be worse than dealing with you” muttered Glimmer.

“Oh yes it can. _I_ have a functioning brain.” Glimmer couldn’t help but smile.

“Fair.” Silence fell, broken only by the braying of draft animals from the courtyard down below the keep and the shouting of drovers, guards, and merchants engaged in the ageless dance of trying to move dozens of wagons through a confined space quickly and efficiently while making sure that all due taxes were paid on time. Catra sharpened her claws. Glimmer poured over documents, trying to keep track of hard currency reserves and market access and tons of potash and steel and shipments of machine tools and all the other carrots and sticks she was supposed to be offering various people. It had been a _lot_ easier when main task had been “punch Horde troops in the face”. A thought stuck her finally.

“Catra—er, Your Excellency?” Catra looked up.

“Hmmm?”

“You said you’d met Darkspur before. Was that during the war?”

“Yeah. We had some trade through here, and he would sell us information about Bright Moon.”

“ _The little—!_ He used to sell us information about the Horde!” Glimmer stood up and began pacing furiously. “That double-dealing, backstabbing—” Catra burst out laughing.

“I always suspected as much! Don’t worry too much Princess, most of what he gave us was useless anyways.” Glimmer kept muttering under her breath as she spun up and down the room, trampling a groove through the richly embroidered carpet. “Seriously sparkles, isn’t your mom supposed to be some kind of queen? Shouldn’t you have _some_ understanding of how the game is played by now?”

“Just because I don’t like it when people betray me doesn’t make me an idiot you know!”

“Sure, sure, whatever you say. Still, it’s a good thing you have me along to keep you from signing away your castle”. Catra scowled at her.

“Why are you _like_ this?”

“Like what? Brilliant? Beautiful? Clever?”

“ _Annoying!_ ”

“Is that some Princess word for ‘understands how politics works’ that I’m not familiar with?” Glimmer shook her head.

“You know, Adora says you were even worse when you were a baby but I don’t believe it. Nobody could be worse than you now”. Catra’s claws dug into the upholstery, but her voice remained its usual ironic lilt.

“Adora’s not as smart as she thinks is, and I think that sword is making it worse. All that heroism rots the brain”.

“I really don’t understand it. She cares about you, you know that? Never stopped talking about you, telling us all cute little stories about the person trying to _murder us all_. And then one day, you just stopped, you got bored with it, and now you just sit around, chatting with her like nothing’s changed—” Catra’s eyes flashed, and she was off the couch before Glimmer could react, slamming the princess against the wall.

“Don’t you ever—” she hissed, then took a step back, hyperventilating. Glimmer dropped into a combat stance, summoning orbs of power around her fists, but Catra just turned around and paced over to the door. “I think dinner’s ready” she said tonelessly, and stalked out, claws flexing.

* * *

The banquet was, of course, impossibly awkward. Catra barely said anything, with the exception of some acerbic barbs directed equally at Glimmer and their host. Who, for his part, also seemed distracted, unable to keep up a train of thought, unwilling to even discuss the parts of the proposal they had tentatively agreed on that afternoon. And the food was bad. As she drifted off to sleep, Glimmer guiltily realized that she half-hoped that Darkspur would give them a definitive ‘no’ tomorrow morning, so she could go home, back to her friends, away from bad food and muggy weather, away from people you couldn’t trust, people you had to smile at while watching for the knife in your back.

She awoke in darkness with a furry paw clamped over her mouth.

“Shhhhhh!” whispered Catra. Glimmer tried to shout something, but instead inhaled a mouthful of fur and started coughing. The hand withdrew, and Catra’s face appeared an inch above her, glowering.

“Stop that! Uhh, are you ok?” she whispered.

“ _No I am not!_ ” Glimmer half whispered, half shrieked. “What in the name of the moon are you doing in my bedroom?!” She pulled herself upright, flipping on a lamp. Catra perched on the foot of bed.

“Darkspur’s planning to assassinate us tonight. I thought you’d want to know about it”. Glimmer stared.

“How…...how do you know?”

“He wouldn’t look us in the eyes at all during that interminable dinner. Most people find it impossible to _really_ look at someone after they’ve decided to kill them.”

“……I’m a little disturbed that you know that”. Catra shrugged microscopically.

“I’ve had experience”. Glimmer sighed, clambering out of her bed and pulling on some clothes over her pajamas. She shot another glare at her ostensible partner.

“Do you think _maybe_ he wants to kill us because you spent all afternoon threatening his kingdom?”

“Don’t be silly. He was perfectly normal all day. No, no, trust me. He’s emotionally unstable and consumed with both self-regard and resentment at a world that hasn’t rewarded him the way he thinks it should have. He’ll try to restart the Horde Wars, say we attacked each other maybe, then I bet he has some hare-brained plan to take advantage of the chaos to take over the world. Sad really.”

“Uhhhh….”

“And _yes,_ I see the irony sparkles, but _I_ could back it up. He can’t.”

“Fine. So, what do we now?”

“I’ve sent in a call to the Horde for help and they’ve scrambled a squadron but they’re at least twenty minutes away. We can either try and climb down the castle wall—and I notice that _you_ don’t have retractable claws—or we barricade the door and wait for the cavalry to arrive”.

“I don’t—” whatever Glimmer was going to say was interrupted by a _hisssss_ and a cloud of yellow gas pouring out of the ventilation shaft. Catra snarled and leapt to her feet.

“Poison gas! That’s just cheating, _come on_ —”

‘Oh stop whining” grumbled Glimmer, grabbing the other girl and teleporting them both to the hallway outside her room. Half-a-dozen guards were arrayed around the door, dressed in full plate armor and clutching a variety of weapons. With a howl of pent-up rage, Glimmer blasted one of them with a beam of light, sending him sprawling to the ground.

“Hey! What the—get them!” shouted the commander. Glimmer filled the air with coruscating light, then kicked him in the shins as he tried to shield his eyes. Catra leaned against a wall, looking a little green, but she shook her head and leapt into the fray, ripping open one guard’s armor with her claws and hurling him down the corridor, then yanked out a shock-stick from her pocket and zapped another. She slid under a swinging sword, danced around the side and clawed her way up his back, slamming him against the wall, while Glimmer fired a series of bolts of light down the hallway after the last soldier, who’d decided that discretion was the better part of valor.

“Hey! Get back here!” she shouted as he disappeared around a corner. Somewhere in the distance, a bell began to ring.

“Well that’s torn in” growled Catra, kicking one of the downed assailants as he tried to move. “Now what?” Glimmer grinned.

“We could skulk around here fighting off more guards. _Or_ we could go find Darkspur. And punch him.”

“Let’s do the second thing.”

* * *

The two girls raced through the passages of the darkened castle, lit only by the moonlight through the windows. Alarm bells were clattering, and every so often a servant would poke his head around the corner, only to duck back at the sight of two very aggrieved diplomats out for blood. They could hear the shouting of guards somewhere behind them, but each time they came to a door, Catra would bolt it shut as they passed, sometimes tossing a flashbang or smoke grenade over her shoulder first. Glimmer gave her a look.

“Why do you even _have_ those?”

“Came in handy, didn’t they?”

“Fine, whatever.” They ran through corridor after corridor, up a flight of stairs, and through the banquet hall where they’d had to endure dinner earlier, red brocade curtains hanging limply on the wall alongside the heads of exotic animals. Catra didn’t slow down, leaping atop the massive hardwood table and running down it’s length, her claws carving up the expensive wood. Then they were through the ceremonial entrance and into the royal apartments.

“Which…...way……now….?” asked Glimmer, panting.

“People like Darkspur always like to be somewhere high up, where they can look down on people and gloat. Look for a flight of stairs”. They started opening doors at random, clawing or basting down those that were locked. They found several storerooms stuffed with gold and jewels, the office of a steward or under-secretary, a guest bedroom, two sitting rooms, one decorated in teal, the other in vermillion, and eight or nine servants and minor officials, who were unceremoniously locked in a broom closet when they proved too cowed to talk much. Finally:

“Found it!” crowed Glimmer, wrenching open a door set with gemstones forming the royal crest of the Hinterlands. A wide staircase stretched up behind it. Then she yelped and dodged as a flurry of crossbow bolts slammed into the carpet right where she’d been standing. She fired a blast of light of the stairs at the unseen attackers, and grabbed Catra.

“Oh _not again_ —” they disappeared with a pop and reappeared in a vestibule at the top, right behind a trio of guards who were scrambling to reload an automatic crossbow. A few quick shoves sent them tumbling down the steps, wailing. Catra patted the crossbow admiringly.

“Hey, this is nice. I think I’ll take it home with me. Spoils of war, hmm?”

“Fight now, steal later”.

“Sure, sure”. Another corridor stretched out from where they were, and they crept down it cautiously. “Someone like Darkspur is always going to have a bolt hole or a way out” whispered Catra. “So we have to be very quiet….” The hallway opened up into a larger antechamber. There were no windows, and the room was pitch-black. Glimmer frowned

“Wait. I don’t like this….” A red glow flickered to life in the depths of the room. Glimmer had a moment of started recognition, and then she dropped to the floor as a laser bolt _zapped_ into the wall behind her. She tossed a light orb into the air, and it revealed a Horde Bot, claws clattering on the stone floor as it charged towards them.

“That’s mine! That’s— _he stole one of my bots!_ ” Catra yowled in outraged, leaping sideways and bouncing off a cabinet displaying a variety of fine chinaware as the bot’s laser pulsed fire across the wall behind them, incinerating several paintings and a bust of King Darkspur III.

“Now, now Catra, don’t get upset. It’s just politics, remember?” Glimmer teleported back and forth, ducking between laser blasts as the Bot’s targeting system struggled to get a lock on her.

“ _I’ll show you politics—!_ ” Catra hissed, grabbing hold of a chandelier and flinging herself on top of the machine. “You go ahead and grab the stupid thief!” she shouted, grabbing hold of its dome. “I’ll deal with this……this _piece of stolen property!_ ” Glimmer nodded and disappeared in a flash of light, teleporting behind the massive door that took up the far wall of the antechamber.

Darkspur’s bedroom was exactly what she would’ve expected from the rest of his castle—massive wall hangings, a four-poster canopy bed that half of Bright Moon’s staff could’ve slept in easily, gold and silver samovars and goblets displayed prominently on marble plinths. The king in question was in the process of trying to climb through a trapdoor that had been hidden underneath a tiger skin rug. He jumped as Glimmer materialized in the middle of his chamber, then sneered.

“Well, well, I see that Bright Moon’s true colors have been revealed _at last_ Your Highness. You couldn’t even last one solitary night beneath my roof without attempting to destroy me and all that I’ve built.” Glimmer stared at him.

“You tried to kill us literally, like, fifteen minutes ago! You put poison gas into my room!”

“A necessary act of preemptive self-defense! I see what you and that ridiculous feline are up to. You princesses have always hungered for power, for control over us ordinary humans. And now you’ve teamed up with the _Horde_ itself to get it! Well, let me warn you Your Highness, it won’t work. You may defeat me, destroy me, crush me, but my kingdom will _never_ be conquered, it will _never_ submit to foreign—”

“Oh, _shut up_!” Glimmer snapped, marching forward determinedly. “You are starting to _really_ get on my nerve!”

* * *

A few minutes later, Catra strolled into the bedchamber, having smashed the bot into very small pieces and then smashed those pieces into smaller pieces. Catra did not approve of stealing. Well, stealing from her. She didn’t have any objection to theft in the abstract. Glimmer was leaning on the windowsill. King Darkspur VII was tied up in the corner with what appeared to part of the canopy from his bed. He glowered at her over a gag. Catra whistled approvingly, then ambled over to the window to join Glimmer. The princess nodded down to the courtyard below, where dozens of Darkspur’s guards were assembling into a counterstrike team.

“Are we gonna have to deal with that?” Catra cocked an ear and grinned.

“I doubt it.”

“What? Why—” In the distance, a throbbing roar began to echo off the castle walls, and a few of the guards looked up in confusion. Then a blast of fire flashed out from the clouds, obliterating the top of one of the castle’s towers. A dozen Horde flyers dropped into view, jet pods pivoting as they screamed past Castle Darkspur, scattering the defenders with laser bursts. A second tower exploded as well.

“That seems a tad bit…...excessive”.

“Force Captain Lonnie is very enthusiastic about her job”. They stood for a moment, watching as the flyers made another pass, taking out weapons emplacements with laser bursts and blasting a hole in the main gate. Behind them, Darkspur was trying to yell something, but they ignored him. Glimmer finally spoke.

“Thanks. By the way. You know, for saving my life and everything.” Catra gave one of her nearly imperceptible shrugs.

“We signed a treaty of mutual friendship and alliance. Pretty sure that included not letting you get murdered by some third-rate warlord with a swelled head.” She paused for a second. “Plus…...it would upset Adora if something happened to you”.

“Of course.” There was another moment of silence.

“Hey. So, about Adora. I can’t—I didn’t—I don’t like to talk about it. Ok?”

“Ok.” _You’re going to have to someday_ thought the princess, but she didn’t say anything. One thing at a time. Outside a pair of massive four-rotored quadcopters descended and pirouetted over the courtyard. Side doors slammed open, lines dropped to the surface, and squads of Horde troops and bots zipped down. Fire teams policed up Darkspur’s demoralized and routed men, while others stormed into the keep itself, shock-sticks and laser guns firing as they crushed what flimsy resistance remained. Two bots stomped over to the main gate and finished demolishing it before taking up firing positions covering the causeway. Glimmer gasped.

“Oh my gosh! I can’t believe it! I just— _I just helped the Horde take over a country!_ ” Catra started snickering.

“Stop that! It’s not funny. Oh my gosh, what is my mom going to say? I can’t go around conquering countries for the Horde! Stop laughing!”

“Relax sparkles! I don’t want to keep it” Catra hopped up onto the windowsill, still laughing. 

“You……don’t?”

“Too far away to integrate with the rest of the Horde’s territories properly. Too poor to be worth occupying. And _some_ of my new allies would object. Not worth the diplomatic difficulties. All I want is guaranteed access to the caravan routes and a trade treaty.” Glimmer squinted at her suspiciously.

“That’s…...good.”

“So then, princess. What do _you_ want to do with it?”

“Me?!”

“Hey, you’re the one who didn’t one the Horde to annex this quaint little kingdom. So it’s your problem now”. Catra started snickering again. Glimmer made a noise of wordless rage, and stomped off into the bedroom to glare at the tapestries. She kicked a goblet, sending it clattering against the wall. Then she rushed back over to the window.

“I’ve got it! Darkspur has a cousin in Salineas! I think his name is Daivyn? Something like that. Anyways, why don’t we give him the throne?”

“That could work. Principle of legitimacy is always a winner. Is he likely to be any good at the job?”

“Well…...I’ve only met him once. And he was kind of an idiot. But we can send advisors and teachers with him! To help him learn about good governance!” Catra nodded slowly.

“A joint protectorate, hmm? I can live with that. It’s a deal”.

“That’s not exactly…...what I meant…...you know what, fine.” Glimmer pulled up a chair and the two leaders began haggling over the exact details of the new trade agreement they’d suggest to Prince Daivyn, as well as the structure of his provisional government. _This was what made diplomacy worthwhile_ , Glimmer thought warmly. _Designing a deal that worked for everyone_. She glanced over at the corner, where the deposed despot still glowered at them thunderously. _Well, maybe not_ everyone _. But close enough._

* * *

It was three days later that Glimmer appeared in the gardens of Bright Moon, having hitched a ride with Catra back to the Fright Zone and teleported from there. Bow was sitting at a table, his head resting on a law book. Adora was practicing archery, for certain definitions of “practicing” and “archery”.

“Hey guys! How was your week?” she asked brightly.

“It was excellent and the Singing Mountain was always missing its top, I had nothing to do with it at all”.

“None of the new volunteers did anything permanent to themselves or anyone else and I am now an expert on 12th century Etherian mining regulations as they pertain to joint stock corporations. How did your trip go?”

“Pretty good!” Glimmer plopped down in a garden chair. “Catra wasn’t as awful as she usually is, and I think we found a workable solution. Oh. We did end up overthrowing the local government though.”

“ _WHAT?!_ ”

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> \- She-Ra characters engaging in Great Power politics and diplomacy will never not be hilarious to me.


End file.
